Freiza's Stress
by meowmistress
Summary: The story of Freiza's life. . . kind of. I suggest you should be a very big fan of DBZ to get all the jokes here. I promise you will laugh your head off!
1. Chapter 1

I laid on my comfy computerized bed. This is the life, I thought. Yup. Yup.

"Master Freiza," Suddenly one of my faithful servants stuck his lizard-face-saiyon-suit self into the room. He had a grim look on his face, "I'm sorry to bother you Master Freiza but we will be nearing Earth very soon.

"Ba!" I snapped, "Earth! I'll blow that planet right out of the sky!"

"I'm sorry Master Freiza but does that logic really make sense?"

"No... I guess not... So what! I hate everything! I hate this new metal body, this room, you, King Cold, Cooler, Frostie, Krillen, Bulma, Vegeta, Master Roshi, Oolong, Texas, and especially Goku!"

"I understand Master Freiza but all I came in here was to tell you that we have almost reached Earth, uh so you could get your revenge and everything." The lizard man slowly backed out of the door with fear on his face.

"Whatever! Why did I even use this space ship anyway to get to Earth, I could've just flown there, I mean I'm so fast!"

Finally the lizard left and I was alone to myself once again. For now anyway, I soon will have my revenge on Goku and all of his little friends. Especially Chi Chi, she got to Goku first and if I were a girl, which who knows if I am, I shoulda had Goku. Well they called Cell an It a lot in the comic so why can't I say that I'm an It too.

"Master Fr-"

"Shut up! Shut up! I know, where at Earth already! I'm not so stupid I need to be reminded of these things!"

"Actually, I was going to say we were going the wrong way the whole time because we got turned around some how and... Well it'll take 5 days to get back on track."

I sighed and I threw a fire ball from my pocket at the poor creature. Well since I'm already closer to home, I might as well go there instead of Earth. I couldn't take another 5 days with this Krusty Crew.

"Tell the one who's controlling this ship to just return to my home planet," I said to the pile of dust on the floor, "Instead of going to Earth."

The pile of ashes reluctantly shuffled off to the cap'n courters.

In the mean time, I laid back and stared at my toes some more. I always wondered why I only had 3 toes, "Oh well,"

When I returned to my home planet, Cooler was waiting and it seems he was muttering something about revenge. I swear he is psycho or something. He said he'd revenge for my death but I have no idea of what he was talking about. He also mentioned someone by the name of Trunks and his sword. Oh yeah, I also hate that guy too. Some reason I picture he'd be a guy with blond hair and green eyes but I don't why.

In any case so Cooler went off somewhere and after I relaxed awhile at my home I decided to go back to Earth. Then I realized many many year have passed. I also heard some people muttering something about 2 letters: GT. Whatever that means, Gran Tor or something. I think it was a song.

As I was saying, I hopped back on my spaceship with my trusty crew and we headed back to Earth. When I finally got there, I realized there was something really different about Earth. For one there was suddenly 2 planets and all I said was, "That's no moon."

I got closer and I seen this huge sign across the second planet that said, Tuffel Planet. I thought a moment when I realized that those dudes, Truffels were the ones that shared a planet with the saiyons. I thank my book of, "Races that ceased to be." Also to my surprise, I noticed that Krillen was alive again and that for 1: He had hair, and 2: He had a mustache. Worst of all he was married to an android! I thank my book of, "You Know Your an Idiot When..."

The worst part of this planet was that that the leader was named Baby! I mean BABY! Cell's fine and my name is fabulous but BABY!

Alright, to the point I was at again. I ran into Goku one fine day as I was walking around the Earth. I seen him by an old corner shop.

"Cooler!" Goku screamed. He seemed to be much smaller than when I last seen him, "I thought we killed you...twice!"

That's when I realized I was in another dimension or something, "No you monkey! I'm Freiza and you shouldn't even know who Cooler is! He never came to this planet you saiyon!"

Suddenly that jerk smiled, "Oh no, Cooler was my old room-mate. We used ta go to college together. I really killed him twice. We were great friends!"

"Uh... Must be a different Cooler."

In response, Goku held up his short shiny little arm of a picture that was sure enough Cooler with glasses and a suit, "We were the best in math!"

"How can my brother-" I snatched the picture from his hands and looked at it closely, "Cooler never mentioned anything about Earth!"

"Oh really? Haven't you noticed?" Cooler's been dead for more than 10 years! It was a shame... He suddenly turned on me and I had to kill him. He was very jealous of my wife, Chi Chi..."

"Ten years..." My fingers loosened on the picture and it slipped from my hand, "I didn't even realize it's been so long... HEY wait a minute! How come you're not like... well... an adult... Has time been doing weird things to you too?"

"What? No! No! Freiza, it's a long story, but I'll show you something really cool, okay!"

"Okay," Suddenly I realized I was supposed to hate Goku.

I stepped back as Goku started to power up. I almost dropped dead when he suddenly turned super saiyon. To make matters worse, he kept powering up and I could not believe my eyes. He went super saiyon 2 and then 3. I never imagined there would such a powerful energy level. I stepped back even farther as Goku still kept powering up. Finally I knew my eyes fooled me as he went super saiyon 4 and he was tall and grown up like I remembered him but this time... He had red fur!

"...GU!"

"You like it?" Goku hovered over me. My eyes suddenly peeled and cracked and buldged out of place. This is when I knew I was doomed.

"Well I better go now Freiza!" The super saiyon 4 raised his hand in a wave, "I gotta save the world from Baby!" He paused for a mila-second, "It's nice to know you're alive and well, Freiza, well after killing you and all... bye!"

Mpop, I sighed. Suddenly revenge seeped out of my system and there was no point of staying at Earth any longer. I might as well morn for Cooler or blow up Krillen again or something. So I flew into the sky and back to my Krusty Crew. That's when I realized I waited too long to get my revenge. 

To be continued... Well if I feel like it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**_Freiza Story 2: Return, Return of Cooler _** (It's a bit more serious, I think. . .)

_Where am I?_ I thought as I looked around. It was strange, I suddenly realized that I'd been sleep walking and waltzed onto the space ship's main corridor. I rubbed my eyes as I glanced around the long hall that stretched clear across the space ship, with metal walls and shimmering tiles on the floor.

"Sir?" Behind me was a short (Not that I'm much taller) monster-like thing with alien clothes, slumped on his shoulders, "What are you doing, Master Freiza, this late at night?"

"Be gone, I say!" Anger swelled up in me as the monster continued to question me in my humiliation. I forced my back to him and walked opposite from my bed chambers and skittered on in the hall.

"B-But. . ." The monster was left and he wasn't sure of what I just did. I finally heard his steps echo farther away and I continued on until I entered the control panel room. Flashing buttons on all walls, I stepped in and I seen another monster dozing off in a chair in the center of the vastness.

"Ahem!" I forced my voice to rise. The monster stirred and I waited for more of a response but nothing came. His eyes were still closed and a soft noise was coming from his mouth.

I turned back around and headed into the main corridor again. I felt like the metal on the walls, rusted and faded of its glimmer, running for what seemed like eternity into the abyss of the space ship. Sleep had completely left me. It was at least three in the morning and there was nothing to do.

I sighed and continued along the hall back to my sleeping quarters. _It never ends,_ I thought. I must have been sleep walking a great deal of time. It at least takes 15 minutes to make it from one side to the other and the sleeping rooms are another 20 minutes after that.

I ran my hand along the giant pipe that slit the corridor in half as it followed the halls. Suddenly in the distance, I seen the monster that I ran into before. I stopped and he continued forward, his head bent low. His eyes were off somewhere else. He almost reached me and then his head ripped up.

"Master Freiza!" He froze and stared at me, "I'm sorry. . .I'm just doing my rounds I'll go--"

"Wait," My voice sounded crackled. I failed to hide it, "Do you know where our next stop will be?"

The monster was at first taken back but replied reluctantly, "Well our next stop is the planet Zorkune. Didn't your father-"

"Never ye mind," I waved my hand for him to go and I continued on my own path. The monster hesitantly moved on. _He feared me._

Thoughts shouted through my head as I reached the end of the corridor. I followed every other hallway, crossing doors and stairs.

It's been at least seven months since that day. The day when my revenge on the planet earth faded. Always that Goku. Just the same as I remembered him, if not more childish. He had changed, yes. And that caused something in me to react and the lust for revenge disappeared. My Krusty crew and I left that planet, never expecting to see it again on my orders. After that day, I gave absolute power to my father, King Cold. My brother- I mean sister, Frosty stays on our home planet, relaxing and doing nothing to help conquer the universe. The fool my sister is! Ha! Oh, how she disgusts me, always the one taking it easy and getting all the fame. It wasn't my fault I was the ugly one in my family. My other brother, Cooler is dead.

Before I knew it, I reached my room, the high polished door almost hitting my face. I let all my thoughts go and opened the door.

The room before me was vast and the ceiling was stretched as high as a ball room. Mother always loved ball rooms. She was the one who designed the space ship, always looking for an excuse to dress everything up, before she died. But that was a long time ago.

There was my bed, all tattered and uneven. I was obviously tossing and turning in the night. It was no surprise I was sleep walking either. As I neared the bed I finally felt the sleep sweep over me. Once my head hit the pillows, I was instantly out.

Suddenly my maskera-glossed eyelashes flickered open and I looked around the darkened room.

Then I gasped as a figure loomed over the bed.

"Who are you!" I blindly flapped my arms at the attacker but he simply stepped back from the bed.

"Little brother." The shadow's voice was sad but familiar.

"Oh!" I gasped longingly like the Speed Racer gasp, "You are Cooler! But I thought-"

"No." He stepped forward, "Don't say another word, brother. I mean yes, I am Cooler but-" I could see his head move to the side in the dark, "There is something you must know, brother."

I continued to stare at him in awe then I spoke up, "Cooler, what are you doing here alive. I must know! Long ago, Goku said you were his roommate and did math together and, and, I mean you died!"

"Oh yeah, that. . . Eh heh heh. Well you see you have another brother, well my twin. And yeah, HE died with the whole Goku thing. (Wait where was I then and how did I know that? Mmmm. . .d'oh well.)" He paused like he was getting his thoughts back in order, "My twin was very evil. . ."

"Oh? You mean you're not the evil one? (Crud, this really complicates things!) Wait how come I didn't know you had a twin? That foolish father of mine!" I clutched the bed spread in my hands, "How come you didn't come back to us then, if you were alive?"

"Um, that's another thing," Cooler sighed, "See, I hit my head because I think I caught a "Krillen-Cold" and I clumsingly tripped over a rock of some sort on a moon I'm not sure I remember, but after that, I lost my memory for some time and just a few days ago it all came back to me. That's when I came in search for your ship to find you, little brother."

Without thinking, my fingers clutched a notepad and pen and I started writing things down, "Now, how does that make you feel?" I asked.

"I feel. . .a little frightened. . .and hungry. . .-----! Hey Freiza! What the heck are you doing?"

"Uh?" I looked at my hands that were suddenly possessed and writing by themselves, "Curse you Bakura!" I swung my hands on the bed away from the writings when I suddenly remembered out of the blue that Bakura's soul was still inside my body. (Lame Yu-Gi-Oh joke!) I let that idea slide away when I looked at Cooler, his face in the shadows looked with a hint of surprise. He asked-

"Freiza? Are you all right?"

I gave out a nervous snort, "Fine. Fine. So why did you come here, Cooler?"

He smiled, mostly to himself, "I know how you wanted revenge on all those people on- what's its name? E-arth, and I came here to help you."

"Earth?" The thought of Goku again entered my mind, "No. No. It's just that. . ."

Cooler stepped back, "What? You are hesitant (pointing out the obvious). Do you not have the will to destroy uh, uh, that planet, or maybe you are too sick and weak to handle such a-"

"No!" I shouted, surprised by my own outrage, "No! No! I don't ever want to see Earth again, not even to blow it up!" Anger shook my body and I felt my hands loosing control again, "Leave now! Cooler! Leave! I never want to see you again!"

"Oh, little brother," his voice was taken back, "If that is what you wis- No wait! I can't be understanding like this! Fine then! I will go! But you will not see the last of me!"

My arms started to punch blindly at Cooler but with incredible speed, he stepped back through my bedroom door and was gone.

I took a moment to catch my breath and then everything stopped. My head felt heavy and I started to fall back to my bed. It was like I was dead but no calm came to me. It was like dying after a great sin when you knew what was ahead of you. But only a small image of my brother floated in my mind. _you will not see the last of me! _He shouted his silent words. I laid there on my bed asking, what in the world have I done? How foolish was I? Oh, that stupid monkey, Goku! It was all his fault! I'm not sure why but it was always him!

Looking at the high-top ceiling, I realized the only way to win my brother back was to blow up the Earth like I planned before. Cooler. Why did you not die?

To be continued in Freiza Story 3...(perhaps...)...


End file.
